Vodka Beach Party

Tale of the Tape

Good evening everyone and welcome to the Friday Rip. It’s mid-August, it’s hot, and the big swinging drips are in the Hamptons getting a tummy rub.

We got a reading of 50% average volume in the S&P 500. Anemic. On top of the low volume, there was no volatility. None of the major averages closed up or down more than 0.21%. 

We could have kept the markets closed today, snuck off to a vodka beach party, and nobody would have noticed. 🤷‍♂️

Retail Sales for July grew in the right direction. This is good news as the nation attempts to shake off the deep and sudden COVID recession. More on this below.

Fortnite’s Commercial dissing Apple was the coolest thing we saw today and if you clicked that link, here’s a pic of Tim Cook wearing sunglasses, and here’s a video of Apple’s original 1984 Superbowl ad dissing IBM.

Here are your weekly closing prices on the major equity indices:

S&P 5003,372-0.02%
Russell 20001,577-0.12%
Dow Jones27,931+0.12%

Earnings Round-Up

Draftkings fumbled earnings this morning. The company beat on the top line but missed on the bottom. Maybe we’ll give ’em a break since sports have been wack. Here are the numbers:

EPS:  -$0.55 vs. -$0.17 est.
Revenue: $70.93M +23.6% YoY

Here’s what Jason Robins, DraftKings Co-Founder & CEO said in the press release.

We believe that the best product will ultimately win with the American consumer. As a technology first organization, we will continue to focus on bringing new and innovative products to market that strengthen our engagement with customers and maintain our competitive differentiation.

$DKNG closed down 5.94% today.

Baidu reported earnings last night. The company beat estimates but the stock still fell 6.29%, closing at its lowest level since July 28th. The $115 area has acted as support in the past, will history repeat itself? Place your bets… 

Retail Sales

The July Retail Sales numbers hit the tape today. The US has now seen growth in 3 consecutive months. In July sales grew 1.2% vs the 1.9% expected. 

On the news, a few retail stocks caught a bid. Here’s how they closed out the day:

Macy’s + 3.16%
Kohl’s + 2.77%
Nordstrom + 2.09%

Here’s Reuters with more.

Is This Market Rotation?

Strategas shared a chart today featuring Transports relative to “Stay at Home” stocks. 

Transports are hitting a 2-month high, does this mean the world’s about to re-open? Place your bets… 

Apple Two Trilly Watch 👀

Apple traded down .67% today. Still the company is trading within one silly Nasdaq 100 rally away from hitting the $2 Trillion Market Cap.

We’re keeping a close eye just because it’s insane. Here’s a 10 year market cap chart from $200 Billy to closing in on $2 Trilly.

Shutter The Runway

Rent-The-Runway, a clothing rental start-up will close all of its stores with no intention of reopening. Sales began to deteriorate for the company requiring it to cut costs as a result of the coronavirus pandemic. 

Here’s what Anushka Salinas, President and COO had to say:

We always knew we wanted and will continue to have a physical presence strategy. What we know now is the physical presence strategy is about drop boxes.

Here’s more from CNBC.


This looks like the ultimate work from home pad. Located in the Brazilian wilderness this house/art studio seems like the perfect place to kick back during the mayhem that is 2020. 

Here are a few other photos we thought were cool and for more info, check out

Links That Don’t Suck

☄️ NASA headed towards giant golden asteroid that could make everyone on Earth a billionaire

⚠️ Epic Games’ Fortnite ‘1984’ parody turns Apple into Big Brother

🚴‍♂️ The Road to Optimal Trading

👟 Why New Balance Is Having Its Most Exciting Year Ever

🌉 Remote Work Is Reshaping San Francisco, as Tech Workers Flee and Rents Fall

😵 ‘This Is Unforgivable’: Anger Mounts Over Mauritius Oil Spill

🛣 Highway 19E Is the Most Underrated Road Trip

🧘‍♂️ Unblocking Self Sabotage With Denise Shull